All cool, no pain
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My brother and I adore each other, and we have a mother who worries about every little thing. As we live on one side of Australia and my mum and dad live on the other, we keep a bit from them.
Brother: did you get my message about my teeth?
Cheri: yes that sucks i’m sorry for that. what’s happening
Brother: just fuckin silly
i’ve been to the dentist, and it’s sealed, will go in for the measure up on the 3rd
where they’ll figure out if it’s a composite, veneer or crown
i just got private and they’ve waived on dental and optical and stuff
the dentist reckons they can split the bill and chuck alot of it on general to reduce the out of pocket if it goes crown, it’ll still cost 1400 for one + anything else, and who knows for the other
might have to hit the folks up for a loan 
Cheri: O no!
Brother: what can ya do ?
it’s all cool, no pain, just stupid
Cheri: mum was wondering if you got into a fight 
Brother: nooooo
i’ll tell you what happened
don’t tell her but
Cheri: ok tell me.
Brother: we were playing darts
and i was losing very badly
Cheri: k
Brother: it got to a dack run, and i couldn’t not do it
Cheri: oh no
Brother: so i dropped my jeans, and hopped around the room
i got all tangled up and tripped
went face first into the bar
Cheri: laughing.
Brother: i broke my left front tooth half off, smashed the back of the front right, fractured my nose and bent my glasses
then, colin and ben picked me up to take me into the bathroom and clean me up and i passed out and pissed myself
they had to call an ambulance 
but i managed to slip a terrible mum joke in
Cheri: what was the joke
Brother: ah they said something like ‘you’re going to be sore in the morning’ and i said, ‘your mum’s going to be sore in the morning’
did mum actually think i was in a fight ?
Cheri: no she didn’t think you were
i’m sure she’d rather find you were in a fight
than you know like
crashing face first into a bar with your pants down
Brother: i think she would be proud of me for honouring my word